The Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe - 22

I reposed that night in the boat, and in the morning I resolved to harbour what I had gotten in my new cave, not to carry it home to my castle. After refreshing myself, I got all my cargo on shore, and began to examine the particulars: the cask of liquor I found to be a kind of rum, but not such as we had at the Brasils; and, in a word, not at all good; but when I came to open the chests, I found several things which I wanted: for example, I found in one a fine case of bottles, of an extraordinary kind, and filled with cordial waters, fine, and very good; the bottles held about three pints each, and were tipped with silver: I found two pots of very good succades, or sweetmeats, so fastened also on the top, that the salt water had not hurt them; and two more of the same, which the water had spoiled: I found some very good shirts, which were very welcome to me, and about a dozen and a half of white linen handkerchiefs and coloured neckcloths; the former were also very welcome, being exceeding refreshing to wipe my face in a hot day. Besides this, when I came to the till in the chests, I found there three great bags of pieces of eight, which held about eleven hundred pieces in all; and in one of them, wrapt up in a paper, six doubloons of gold, and some small bars or wedges of gold; I suppose they might all weigh near a pound.

The other chest I found had some clothes in it, but of little value; but by the circumstances, it must have belonged to the gunner's mate, as there was no powder in it, but about two pounds of glazed powder in the three flasks, kept, I suppose, for charging their fowling-pieces on occasion. Upon the whole, I got very little by this voyage that was of much use to me; for, as to the money, I had no manner of occasion for it; it was to me as the dirt under my feet; and I would have given it all for three or four pair of English shoes and stockings, which were things I greatly wanted, but had not had on my feet now for many years: I had, indeed, got two pair of shoes now, which I took off the feet of the two drowned men whom I saw in the wreck; and I found two pair more in one of the chests, which were very welcome to me; but they were not like our English shoes, either for case or service, being rather what we call pumps than shoes. I found in the seaman's chest about fifty pieces of eight in royals, but no gold: I suppose this belonged to a poorer man than the other, which seemed to belong to some officer.

Well, however, I lugged the money home to my cave, and laid it up, as I had done that before, which I brought from our own ship; but it was great pity, as I said, that the other part of the ship had not come to my share, for I am satisfied I might have loaded my canoe several times over with money, which, if I had ever escaped to England, would have lain here safe enough till I might have come again and fetched it.

Having now brought all my things on shore, and secured them, I went back to my boat, and rowed or paddled her along the shore to her old harbour, where I laid her up, and made the best of my way to my old habitation, where I found every thing safe and quiet; so I began to repose myself, live after my old fashion, and take care of my family affairs; and for awhile I lived easy enough; only that I was more vigilant than I used to be, looked out oftener, and did not go abroad so much; and if at any time I did stir with any freedom, it was always to the east part of the island, where I was pretty well satisfied the savages never came, and where I could go without so many precautions, and such a load of arms and ammunition as I always carried with me, if I went the other way.

I lived in this condition near two years more; but my unlucky head, that was always to let me know it was born to make my body miserable, was all these two years filled with projects and designs, how, if it were possible, I might get away from this island; for sometimes I was for making another voyage to the wreck, though my reason told me, that there was nothing left there worth the hazard of my voyage; sometimes for a ramble one way, sometimes another; and I believe verity, if I had had the boat that I went from Sallee in, I should have ventured to sea, bound any where, I knew not whither.

I have been, in all my circumstances, a memento to those who are touched with that general plague of mankind, whence, for aught I know, one half of their miseries flow; I mean, that of not being satisfied with the station wherein God and nature hath placed them; for, not to look back upon my primitive condition, and the excellent advice of my father, the opposition to which was, as I may call it, my original sin, my subsequent mistakes of the same kind have been the means of my coming into this miserable condition; for had that Providence, which so happily had seated me at the Brasils as a planter, blessed me with confined desires, and could I have been contented to have gone on gradually, I might have been by this time, I mean in the time of my being on this island, one of the most considerable planters in the Brasils; nay, I am persuaded, that by the improvements I had made in that little time I lived there, and the increase I should probably have made if I had stayed, I might have been worth a hundred thousand moidores; and what business had I to leave a settled fortune, well-stocked plantation, improving and increasing, to turn supercargo to Guinea, to fetch Negroes, when patience and time would have so increased our stock at home, that we could have bought them at our own doors, from those whose business it was to fetch them? And though it had cost us something more, yet the difference of that price was by no means worth saving at so great a hazard.

But as this is ordinarily the fate of young heads, so reflection upon the folly of it is as ordinarily the exercise of more years, or of the dear-bought experience of time; and so it was with me now; and yet, so deep had the mistake taken root in my temper, that I could not satisfy myself in my station, but was continually poring upon the means and possibility of my escape from this place; and that I may, with the greater pleasure to the reader, bring on the remaining part of my story, it may not be improper to give some account of my first conceptions on the subject of this foolish scheme for my escape; and how, and upon what foundation, I acted.

I am now to be supposed to be retired into my castle, after my late voyage to the wreck, my frigate laid up, and secured under water as usual, and my condition restored to what it was before: I had more wealth, indeed, than I had before, but was not at all the richer; for I had no more use for it than the Indians of Peru had before the Spaniards came thither.

It was one of the nights in the rainy season in March, the four-and-twentieth year of my first setting foot in this island of solitariness, I was lying in my bed or hammock, awake, and very well in health, had no pain, no distemper, no uneasiness of body, no, nor any uneasiness of mind more than ordinary, but could by no means close my eyes, that is, so as to sleep; no, not a wink all night long, otherwise than as follows:

It is as impossible as needless to set down the innumerable crowd of thoughts that whirled through that great thoroughfare of the brain, the memory, in this night's time: I ran over the whole history of my life in miniature, or by abridgment, as I may call it, to my coming to this island; and also of that part of my life since I came to this island; in my reflections upon the state of my case, since I came on shore on this island; I was comparing the happy posture of my affairs, in the first years of my habitation here, to that course of anxiety, fear, and care, which I had lived in ever since I had seen the print of a foot in the sand; not that I did not believe the savages had frequented the island even all the while, and might have been several hundreds of them at times on the shore there; but as I had never known it, and was incapable of any apprehensions about it, my satisfaction was perfect, though my danger was the same; and I was as happy in not knowing my danger, as if I had never really been exposed to it; this furnished my thoughts with many very profitable reflections, and particularly this one: How infinitely good that Providence is, which has settled in its government of mankind such narrow bounds to his sight and knowledge of things; and though he walks in the midst of so many thousand dangers, the sight of which, if discovered to him, would distract his mind and sink his spirits, he is kept serene and calm, by having the events of things hid from his eyes, and knowing nothing of the dangers which surround him.

After these thoughts had for some time entertained me, I came to reflect seriously upon the real danger I had been in for so many years in this very island; and how I had walked about in the greatest security, and with all possible tranquillity, even perhaps when nothing but a brow on a hill, a great tree, or the casual approach of night, had been between me and the worst kind of destruction, viz. that of falling into the hands of cannibals, and savages, who would have seized on me with the same view, as I did of a goat, or a turtle; and have thought it no more a crime to kill and devour me, than I did of a pigeon, or a curlieu: I would unjustly slander my self, if I should say I was not sincerely thankful to my great Preserver, to whose singular protection I acknowledged, with great humility, that all these unknown deliverances were due; and without which, I must inevitably have fallen into their merciless hands.

When these thoughts were over, my head was for some time taken up in considering the nature of these wretched creatures; I mean, the savages; and how it came to pass in the world, that the wise governour of all things should give up any of his creatures to such inhumanity; nay, to something so much below, even brutality it self, as to devour its own kind; but as this ended in some (at that time fruitless) speculations, it occurred to me to enquire, what part of the world these wretches lived in; how far off the coast was from whence they came; what they ventured over so far from home for; what kind of boats they had; and why I might not order my self, and my business so, that I might be as able to go over thither, as they were to come to me.

I never so much as troubled my self to consider what I should do with my self, when I came thither; what would become of me, if I fell into the hands of the savages; or how I should escape from them, if they attempted me; no, nor so much as how it was possible for me to reach the coast, and not be attempted by some or other of them, without any possibility of delivering my self; and if I should not fall into their hands, what I should do for provision, or whither I should bend my course; none of these thoughts, I say, so much as came in my way; but my mind was wholly bent upon the notion of my passing over in my boat, to the main land: I looked back upon my present condition as the most miserable that could possibly be; that I was not able to throw myself into any thing but death that could be called worse; that if I reached the shore of the main, I might, perhaps, meet with relief; or I might coast along, as I did on the shore of Africa, till I came to some inhabited country, and where I might find some relief; and after all, perhaps, I might fall in with some Christian ship that might take me in: and if the worst came to the worst, I could but die, which would put an end to all these miseries at once. Pray, note all this was the fruit of a disturbed mind, an impatient temper, made, as it were, desperate by the long continuance of my troubles, and the disappointments I had met in the wreck I had been on board of, and where I had been so near the obtaining of what I so earnestly longed for, viz. somebody to speak to, and to learn some knowledge from of the place where I was, and of the probable means of my deliverance; I say, I was agitated wholly by these thoughts. All my calm of mind in my resignation to Providence, and waiting the issue of the dispositions of Heaven, seemed to be suspended; and I had, as it were, no power to turn my thoughts to any thing but the project of a voyage to the main; which came upon me with such force, and such an impetuosity of desire, that it was not to be resisted.

When this had agitated my thoughts for two hours or more, with such violence that it set my very blood into a ferment, and my pulse beat as high as if I had been in a fever, merely with the extraordinary fervour of my mind about it; nature, as if I had been fatigued and exhausted with the very thought of it, threw me into a sound sleep: one would have thought I should have dreamed of it; but I did not, nor of any thing relating to it; but I dreamed, that as I was going out in the morning, as usual, from my castle, I saw upon the shore two canoes and eleven savages coming to land, and that they brought with them another savage, whom they were going to kill, in order to eat him; when on a sudden, the savage that they were going to kill jumped away, and ran for his life: then I thought in my sleep, that he came running into my little thick grove, before my fortification, to hide himself; and that I seeing him alone, and not perceiving that the others sought him that way, shewed myself to him, and, smiling upon him, encouraged him: that he kneeled down to me, seeming to pray me to assist him; upon which I shewed my ladder, made him go up it, and carried him into my cave, and he became my servant; and that as soon as I had got this man, I said to myself, "Now I may certainly venture to the main land; for this fellow will serve me as a pilot, and will tell me what to do, and whither to go for provisions, and whither not to go for fear of being devoured; what places to venture into, and what to escape." I waked with this thought, and was under such inexpressible impressions of joy at the prospect of my escape in my dream, that the disappointments which I felt upon coming to myself, and finding it was no more than a dream, were equally extravagant the other way, and threw me into a very great dejection of spirit.

Upon this, however, I made this conclusion, that my only way to go about an attempt for an escape, was, if possible, to get a savage in my possession; and, if possible, it should be one of their prisoners whom they had condemned to be eaten, and should bring hither to kill: but these thoughts still were attended with this difficulty, that it was impossible to effect this, without attacking a whole caravan of them, and killing them all; and this was not only a very desperate attempt, and might miscarry; but, on the other hand, I had greatly scrupled the lawfulness of it to me, and my heart trembled at the thoughts of shedding so much blood, though it was for my deliverance: I need not repeat the arguments which occurred to me against this, they being the same mentioned before: but though I had other reasons to offer now, viz. that those men were enemies to my life, and would devour me, if they could; that it was self-preservation, in the highest degree, to deliver myself from this death of a life, and was acting in my own defence, as much as if they were actually assaulting me, and the like; I say, though these things argued for it, yet the thoughts of shedding human blood for my deliverance were very terrible to me, and such as I could by no means reconcile myself to a great while.

However, at last, after many secret disputes with myself, and after great perplexities about it, (for all these arguments, one way and another, struggled in my head a long time,) the eager prevailing desire of deliverance at length mastered all the rest, and I resolved, if possible, to get one of these savages into my hands, cost what it would: the next thing then was to contrive how to do it; and this indeed was very difficult to resolve on: but as I could pitch upon no probable means for it, so I resolved to put myself upon the watch to see them when they came on shore, and leave the rest to the event, taking such measures as the opportunity should present, let it be what it would.

With these resolutions in my thoughts, I set myself upon the scout as often as possible, and indeed so often, till I was heartily tired of it; for it was above a year and a half that I waited, and for a great part of that time went out to the west end, and to the south-west corner of the island, almost every day, to see the canoes, but none appeared. This was very discouraging, and began to trouble me much; though I can't say that it did in this case, as it had done some time before that, viz. wear off the edge of my desire to the thing; but the longer it seemed to be delayed, the more eager I was for it: in a word, I was not at first more careful to shun the sight of these savages, and avoid being seen by them, than I was now eager to be upon them.

Besides, I fancied myself able to manage one, nay, two or three savages, if I had them, so as to make them entirely slaves to me, to do whatever I should direct them, and to prevent their being able, at any time, to do me any hurt. It was a great while that I pleased myself with this affair, but nothing still presented; all my fancies and schemes came to nothing, for no savages came near me for a great while.

About a year and a half after I had entertained these notions, and, by long musing, had, as it were, resolved them all into nothing, for want of an occasion to put them in execution, I was surprised one morning early, with seeing no less than five canoes all on shore together, on my side the island, and the people who belonged to them all landed, and out of my sight: the number of them broke all my measures; for seeing so many, and knowing that they always came four, or six, or sometimes more, in a boat, I could not tell what to think of it, or how to take my measures, to attack twenty or thirty men single-handed; so I lay still in my castle, perplexed and discomforted; however, I put myself into all the same postures for an attack that I had formerly provided, and was just ready for action, if any thing had presented. Having waited a good while, listening to hear if they made any noise; at length being very impatient, I set my guns at the foot of my ladder, and clambered up to the top of the hill by my two stages, as usual, standing so, however, that my head did not appear above the hill, so that they could not perceive me by any means. Here I observed, by the help of my perspective glass, that they were no less than thirty in number; that they had a fire kindled, and that they had had meat dressed; how they cooked it, that I knew not, or what it was; but they were all dancing in I know not how many barbarous gestures and figures, their own way, round the fire.

When I was thus looking on them, I perceived by my perspective two miserable wretches dragged from the boats, where, it seems, they were laid by, and were now brought out for the slaughter: I perceived one of them immediately fall, being knocked down, I suppose, with a club or wooden sword, for that was their way; and two or three others were at work immediately, cutting him open for their cookery, while the other victim was left standing by himself, till they should be ready for him. In that very moment this poor wretch, seeing himself a little at liberty, nature inspired him with hopes of life, and he started away from them, and ran with incredible swiftness along the sands, directly towards me, I mean towards that part of the coast where my habitation was.