A Doll's House - 5

Yes, yes—I will go. But it is all no use. Of course you are not aware
what steps I have taken in the matter of the Helmers.
MRS LINDE.
Yes, I know all about that.
KROGSTAD.
And in spite of that have you the courage to—?
MRS LINDE.
I understand very well to what lengths a man like you might be driven
by despair.
KROGSTAD.
If I could only undo what I have done!
MRS LINDE.
You cannot. Your letter is lying in the letter-box now.
KROGSTAD.
Are you sure of that?
MRS LINDE.
Quite sure, but—
KROGSTAD.
_[with a searching look at her]_. Is that what it all means?—that you
want to save your friend at any cost? Tell me frankly. Is that it?
MRS LINDE.
Nils, a woman who has once sold herself for another’s sake, doesn’t do
it a second time.
KROGSTAD.
I will ask for my letter back.
MRS LINDE.
No, no.
KROGSTAD.
Yes, of course I will. I will wait here until Helmer comes; I will tell
him he must give me my letter back—that it only concerns my
dismissal—that he is not to read it—
MRS LINDE.
No, Nils, you must not recall your letter.
KROGSTAD.
But, tell me, wasn’t it for that very purpose that you asked me to meet
you here?
MRS LINDE.
In my first moment of fright, it was. But twenty-four hours have
elapsed since then, and in that time I have witnessed incredible things
in this house. Helmer must know all about it. This unhappy secret must
be disclosed; they must have a complete understanding between them,
which is impossible with all this concealment and falsehood going on.
KROGSTAD.
Very well, if you will take the responsibility. But there is one thing
I can do in any case, and I shall do it at once.
MRS LINDE.
_[listening]_. You must be quick and go! The dance is over; we are not
safe a moment longer.
KROGSTAD.
I will wait for you below.
MRS LINDE.
Yes, do. You must see me back to my door...
KROGSTAD.
I have never had such an amazing piece of good fortune in my life!
_[Goes out through the outer door. The door between the room and the
hall remains open.]_
MRS LINDE.
_[tidying up the room and laying her hat and cloak ready]_. What a
difference! what a difference! Someone to work for and live for—a home
to bring comfort into. That I will do, indeed. I wish they would be
quick and come—_[Listens.]_ Ah, there they are now. I must put on my
things. _[Takes up her hat and cloak. HELMER’S and NORA’S voices are
heard outside; a key is turned, and HELMER brings NORA almost by force
into the hall. She is in an Italian costume with a large black shawl
around her; he is in evening dress, and a black domino which is flying
open.]_
NORA.
_[hanging back in the doorway, and struggling with him]_. No, no,
no!—don’t take me in. I want to go upstairs again; I don’t want to
leave so early.
HELMER.
But, my dearest Nora—
NORA.
Please, Torvald dear—please, please—only an hour more.
HELMER.
Not a single minute, my sweet Nora. You know that was our agreement.
Come along into the room; you are catching cold standing there. _[He
brings her gently into the room, in spite of her resistance.]_
MRS LINDE.
Good evening.
NORA.
Christine!
HELMER.
You here, so late, Mrs Linde?
MRS LINDE.
Yes, you must excuse me; I was so anxious to see Nora in her dress.
NORA.
Have you been sitting here waiting for me?
MRS LINDE.
Yes, unfortunately I came too late, you had already gone upstairs; and
I thought I couldn’t go away again without having seen you.
HELMER.
_[taking off NORA’S shawl]_. Yes, take a good look at her. I think she
is worth looking at. Isn’t she charming, Mrs Linde?
MRS LINDE.
Yes, indeed she is.
HELMER.
Doesn’t she look remarkably pretty? Everyone thought so at the dance.
But she is terribly self-willed, this sweet little person. What are we
to do with her? You will hardly believe that I had almost to bring her
away by force.
NORA.
Torvald, you will repent not having let me stay, even if it were only
for half an hour.
HELMER.
Listen to her, Mrs Linde! She had danced her Tarantella, and it had
been a tremendous success, as it deserved—although possibly the
performance was a trifle too realistic—a little more so, I mean, than
was strictly compatible with the limitations of art. But never mind
about that! The chief thing is, she had made a success—she had made a
tremendous success. Do you think I was going to let her remain there
after that, and spoil the effect? No, indeed! I took my charming little
Capri maiden—my capricious little Capri maiden, I should say—on my arm;
took one quick turn round the room; a curtsey on either side, and, as
they say in novels, the beautiful apparition disappeared. An exit ought
always to be effective, Mrs Linde; but that is what I cannot make Nora
understand. Pooh! this room is hot. _[Throws his domino on a chair, and
opens the door of his room.]_ Hullo! it’s all dark in here. Oh, of
course—excuse me—. _[He goes in, and lights some candles.]_
NORA.
_[in a hurried and breathless whisper]_. Well?
MRS LINDE.
_[in a low voice]_. I have had a talk with him.
NORA.
Yes, and—
MRS LINDE.
Nora, you must tell your husband all about it.
NORA.
_[in an expressionless voice]_. I knew it.
MRS LINDE.
You have nothing to be afraid of as far as Krogstad is concerned; but
you must tell him.
NORA.
I won’t tell him.
MRS LINDE.
Then the letter will.
NORA.
Thank you, Christine. Now I know what I must do. Hush—!
HELMER.
_[coming in again]_. Well, Mrs Linde, have you admired her?
MRS LINDE.
Yes, and now I will say goodnight.
HELMER.
What, already? Is this yours, this knitting?
MRS LINDE.
_[taking it]_. Yes, thank you, I had very nearly forgotten it.
HELMER.
So you knit?
MRS LINDE.
Of course.
HELMER.
Do you know, you ought to embroider.
MRS LINDE.
Really? Why?
HELMER.
Yes, it’s far more becoming. Let me show you. You hold the embroidery
thus in your left hand, and use the needle with the right—like
this—with a long, easy sweep. Do you see?
MRS LINDE.
Yes, perhaps—
HELMER.
But in the case of knitting—that can never be anything but ungraceful;
look here—the arms close together, the knitting-needles going up and
down—it has a sort of Chinese effect—. That was really excellent
champagne they gave us.
MRS LINDE.
Well,—goodnight, Nora, and don’t be self-willed any more.
HELMER.
That’s right, Mrs Linde.
MRS LINDE.
Goodnight, Mr. Helmer.
HELMER.
_[accompanying her to the door]_. Goodnight, goodnight. I hope you will
get home all right. I should be very happy to—but you haven’t any great
distance to go. Goodnight, goodnight. _[She goes out; he shuts the door
after her, and comes in again.]_ Ah!—at last we have got rid of her.
She is a frightful bore, that woman.
NORA.
Aren’t you very tired, Torvald?
HELMER.
No, not in the least.
NORA.
Nor sleepy?
HELMER.
Not a bit. On the contrary, I feel extraordinarily lively. And you?—you
really look both tired and sleepy.
NORA.
Yes, I am very tired. I want to go to sleep at once.
HELMER.
There, you see it was quite right of me not to let you stay there any
longer.
NORA.
Everything you do is quite right, Torvald.
HELMER.
_[kissing her on the forehead]_. Now my little skylark is speaking
reasonably. Did you notice what good spirits Rank was in this evening?
NORA.
Really? Was he? I didn’t speak to him at all.
HELMER.
And I very little, but I have not for a long time seen him in such good
form. _[Looks for a while at her and then goes nearer to her.]_ It is
delightful to be at home by ourselves again, to be all alone with
you—you fascinating, charming little darling!
NORA.
Don’t look at me like that, Torvald.
HELMER.
Why shouldn’t I look at my dearest treasure?—at all the beauty that is
mine, all my very own?
NORA.
_[going to the other side of the table]_. You mustn’t say things like
that to me tonight.
HELMER.
_[following her]_. You have still got the Tarantella in your blood, I
see. And it makes you more captivating than ever. Listen—the guests are
beginning to go now. _[In a lower voice.]_ Nora—soon the whole house
will be quiet.
NORA.
Yes, I hope so.
HELMER.
Yes, my own darling Nora. Do you know, when I am out at a party with
you like this, why I speak so little to you, keep away from you, and
only send a stolen glance in your direction now and then?—do you know
why I do that? It is because I make believe to myself that we are
secretly in love, and you are my secretly promised bride, and that no
one suspects there is anything between us.
NORA.
Yes, yes—I know very well your thoughts are with me all the time.
HELMER.
And when we are leaving, and I am putting the shawl over your beautiful
young shoulders—on your lovely neck—then I imagine that you are my
young bride and that we have just come from the wedding, and I am
bringing you for the first time into our home—to be alone with you for
the first time—quite alone with my shy little darling! All this evening
I have longed for nothing but you. When I watched the seductive figures
of the Tarantella, my blood was on fire; I could endure it no longer,
and that was why I brought you down so early—
NORA.
Go away, Torvald! You must let me go. I won’t—
HELMER.
What’s that? You’re joking, my little Nora! You won’t—you won’t? Am I
not your husband—? _[A knock is heard at the outer door.]_
NORA.
_[starting]_. Did you hear—?
HELMER.
_[going into the hall]_. Who is it?
RANK.
_[outside]_. It is I. May I come in for a moment?
HELMER.
_[in a fretful whisper]_. Oh, what does he want now? _[Aloud.]_ Wait a
minute! _[Unlocks the door.]_ Come, that’s kind of you not to pass by
our door.
RANK.
I thought I heard your voice, and felt as if I should like to look in.
_[With a swift glance round.]_ Ah, yes!—these dear familiar rooms. You
are very happy and cosy in here, you two.
HELMER.
It seems to me that you looked after yourself pretty well upstairs too.
RANK.
Excellently. Why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t one enjoy everything in
this world?—at any rate as much as one can, and as long as one can. The
wine was capital—
HELMER.
Especially the champagne.
RANK.
So you noticed that too? It is almost incredible how much I managed to
put away!
NORA.
Torvald drank a great deal of champagne tonight too.
RANK.
Did he?
NORA.
Yes, and he is always in such good spirits afterwards.
RANK.
Well, why should one not enjoy a merry evening after a well-spent day?
HELMER.
Well spent? I am afraid I can’t take credit for that.
RANK.
_[clapping him on the back]_. But I can, you know!
NORA.
Doctor Rank, you must have been occupied with some scientific
investigation today.
RANK.
Exactly.
HELMER.
Just listen!—little Nora talking about scientific investigations!
NORA.
And may I congratulate you on the result?
RANK.
Indeed you may.
NORA.
Was it favourable, then?
RANK.
The best possible, for both doctor and patient—certainty.
NORA.
_[quickly and searchingly]_. Certainty?
RANK.
Absolute certainty. So wasn’t I entitled to make a merry evening of it
after that?
NORA.
Yes, you certainly were, Doctor Rank.
HELMER.
I think so too, so long as you don’t have to pay for it in the morning.
RANK.
Oh well, one can’t have anything in this life without paying for it.
NORA.
Doctor Rank—are you fond of fancy-dress balls?
RANK.
Yes, if there is a fine lot of pretty costumes.
NORA.
Tell me—what shall we two wear at the next?
HELMER.
Little featherbrain!—are you thinking of the next already?
RANK.
We two? Yes, I can tell you. You shall go as a good fairy—
HELMER.
Yes, but what do you suggest as an appropriate costume for that?
RANK.
Let your wife go dressed just as she is in everyday life.
HELMER.
That was really very prettily turned. But can’t you tell us what you
will be?
RANK.
Yes, my dear friend, I have quite made up my mind about that.
HELMER.
Well?
RANK.
At the next fancy-dress ball I shall be invisible.
HELMER.
That’s a good joke!
RANK.
There is a big black hat—have you never heard of hats that make you
invisible? If you put one on, no one can see you.
HELMER.
_[suppressing a smile]_. Yes, you are quite right.
RANK.
But I am clean forgetting what I came for. Helmer, give me a cigar—one
of the dark Havanas.
HELMER.
With the greatest pleasure. _[Offers him his case.]_
RANK.
_[takes a cigar and cuts off the end]_. Thanks.
NORA.
_[striking a match]_. Let me give you a light.
RANK.
Thank you. _[She holds the match for him to light his cigar.]_ And now
goodbye!
HELMER.
Goodbye, goodbye, dear old man!
NORA.
Sleep well, Doctor Rank.
RANK.
Thank you for that wish.
NORA.
Wish me the same.
RANK.
You? Well, if you want me to sleep well! And thanks for the light. _[He
nods to them both and goes out.]_
HELMER.
_[in a subdued voice]_. He has drunk more than he ought.
NORA.
_[absently]_. Maybe. _[HELMER takes a bunch of keys out of his pocket
and goes into the hall.]_ Torvald! what are you going to do there?
HELMER.
Emptying the letter-box; it is quite full; there will be no room to put
the newspaper in tomorrow morning.
NORA.
Are you going to work tonight?
HELMER.
You know quite well I’m not. What is this? Someone has been at the
lock.
NORA.
At the lock—?
HELMER.
Yes, someone has. What can it mean? I should never have thought the
maid—. Here is a broken hairpin. Nora, it is one of yours.
NORA.
_[quickly]_. Then it must have been the children—
HELMER.
Then you must get them out of those ways. There, at last I have got it
open. _[Takes out the contents of the letter-box, and calls to the
kitchen.]_ Helen!—Helen, put out the light over the front door. _[Goes
back into the room and shuts the door into the hall. He holds out his
hand full of letters.]_ Look at that—look what a heap of them there
are. _[Turning them over.]_ What on earth is that?
NORA.
_[at the window]_. The letter—No! Torvald, no!
HELMER.
Two cards—of Rank’s.
NORA.
Of Doctor Rank’s?
HELMER.
_[looking at them]_. Doctor Rank. They were on the top. He must have
put them in when he went out.
NORA.
Is there anything written on them?
HELMER.
There is a black cross over the name. Look there—what an uncomfortable
idea! It looks as if he were announcing his own death.
NORA.
It is just what he is doing.
HELMER.
What? Do you know anything about it? Has he said anything to you?
NORA.
Yes. He told me that when the cards came it would be his leave-taking
from us. He means to shut himself up and die.
HELMER.
My poor old friend! Certainly I knew we should not have him very long
with us. But so soon! And so he hides himself away like a wounded
animal.
NORA.
If it has to happen, it is best it should be without a word—don’t you
think so, Torvald?
HELMER.
_[walking up and down]_. He had so grown into our lives. I can’t think
of him as having gone out of them. He, with his sufferings and his
loneliness, was like a cloudy background to our sunlit happiness. Well,
perhaps it is best so. For him, anyway. _[Standing still.]_ And perhaps
for us too, Nora. We two are thrown quite upon each other now. _[Puts
his arms round her.]_ My darling wife, I don’t feel as if I could hold
you tight enough. Do you know, Nora, I have often wished that you might
be threatened by some great danger, so that I might risk my life’s
blood, and everything, for your sake.
NORA.
_[disengages herself, and says firmly and decidedly]_. Now you must
read your letters, Torvald.
HELMER.
No, no; not tonight. I want to be with you, my darling wife.
NORA.
With the thought of your friend’s death—
HELMER.
You are right, it has affected us both. Something ugly has come between
us—the thought of the horrors of death. We must try and rid our minds
of that. Until then—we will each go to our own room.
NORA.
_[hanging on his neck]_. Goodnight, Torvald—Goodnight!
HELMER.
_[kissing her on the forehead]_. Goodnight, my little singing-bird.
Sleep sound, Nora. Now I will read my letters through. _[He takes his
letters and goes into his room, shutting the door after him.]_
NORA.
_[gropes distractedly about, seizes HELMER’S domino, throws it round
her, while she says in quick, hoarse, spasmodic whispers]_. Never to
see him again. Never! Never! _[Puts her shawl over her head.]_ Never to
see my children again either—never again. Never! Never!—Ah! the icy,
black water—the unfathomable depths—If only it were over! He has got it
now—now he is reading it. Goodbye, Torvald and my children! _[She is
about to rush out through the hall, when HELMER opens his door
hurriedly and stands with an open letter in his hand.]_
HELMER.
Nora!
NORA.
Ah!—
HELMER.
What is this? Do you know what is in this letter?
NORA.
Yes, I know. Let me go! Let me get out!
HELMER.
_[holding her back]_. Where are you going?
NORA.
_[trying to get free]_. You shan’t save me, Torvald!
HELMER.
_[reeling]_. True? Is this true, that I read here? Horrible! No, no—it
is impossible that it can be true.
NORA.
It is true. I have loved you above everything else in the world.
HELMER.
Oh, don’t let us have any silly excuses.
NORA.
_[taking a step towards him]_. Torvald—!
HELMER.
Miserable creature—what have you done?
NORA.
Let me go. You shall not suffer for my sake. You shall not take it upon
yourself.
HELMER.
No tragic airs, please. _[Locks the hall door.]_ Here you shall stay
and give me an explanation. Do you understand what you have done?
Answer me! Do you understand what you have done?
NORA.
_[looks steadily at him and says with a growing look of coldness in her
face]_. Yes, now I am beginning to understand thoroughly.
HELMER.
_[walking about the room]_. What a horrible awakening! All these eight
years—she who was my joy and pride—a hypocrite, a liar—worse, worse—a
criminal! The unutterable ugliness of it all!—For shame! For shame!
_[NORA is silent and looks steadily at him. He stops in front of her.]_
I ought to have suspected that something of the sort would happen. I
ought to have foreseen it. All your father’s want of principle—be
silent!—all your father’s want of principle has come out in you. No
religion, no morality, no sense of duty—. How I am punished for having
winked at what he did! I did it for your sake, and this is how you
repay me.
NORA.
Yes, that’s just it.
HELMER.
Now you have destroyed all my happiness. You have ruined all my future.
It is horrible to think of! I am in the power of an unscrupulous man;
he can do what he likes with me, ask anything he likes of me, give me
any orders he pleases—I dare not refuse. And I must sink to such
miserable depths because of a thoughtless woman!
NORA.
When I am out of the way, you will be free.
HELMER.
No fine speeches, please. Your father had always plenty of those ready,
too. What good would it be to me if you were out of the way, as you
say? Not the slightest. He can make the affair known everywhere; and if
he does, I may be falsely suspected of having been a party to your
criminal action. Very likely people will think I was behind it all—that
it was I who prompted you! And I have to thank you for all this—you
whom I have cherished during the whole of our married life. Do you
understand now what it is you have done for me?
NORA.
_[coldly and quietly]_. Yes.
HELMER.
It is so incredible that I can’t take it in. But we must come to some
understanding. Take off that shawl. Take it off, I tell you. I must try
and appease him some way or another. The matter must be hushed up at
any cost. And as for you and me, it must appear as if everything
between us were just as before—but naturally only in the eyes of the
world. You will still remain in my house, that is a matter of course.
But I shall not allow you to bring up the children; I dare not trust
them to you. To think that I should be obliged to say so to one whom I
have loved so dearly, and whom I still—. No, that is all over. From
this moment happiness is not the question; all that concerns us is to
save the remains, the fragments, the appearance—
_[A ring is heard at the front-door bell.]_
HELMER.
_[with a start]_. What is that? So late! Can the worst—? Can he—? Hide
yourself, Nora. Say you are ill.
_[NORA stands motionless. HELMER goes and unlocks the hall door.]_
MAID.
_[half-dressed, comes to the door]_. A letter for the mistress.
HELMER.
Give it to me. _[Takes the letter, and shuts the door.]_ Yes, it is
from him. You shall not have it; I will read it myself.
NORA.
Yes, read it.
HELMER.
_[standing by the lamp]_. I scarcely have the courage to do it. It may
mean ruin for both of us. No, I must know. _[Tears open the letter,
runs his eye over a few lines, looks at a paper enclosed, and gives a
shout of joy.]_ Nora! _[She looks at him questioningly.]_ Nora!—No, I
must read it once again—. Yes, it is true! I am saved! Nora, I am
saved!
NORA.
And I?
HELMER.
You too, of course; we are both saved, both you and I. Look, he sends
you your bond back. He says he regrets and repents—that a happy change
in his life—never mind what he says! We are saved, Nora! No one can do
anything to you. Oh, Nora, Nora!—no, first I must destroy these hateful
things. Let me see—. _[Takes a look at the bond.]_ No, no, I won’t look
at it. The whole thing shall be nothing but a bad dream to me. _[Tears
up the bond and both letters, throws them all into the stove, and
watches them burn.]_ There—now it doesn’t exist any longer. He says
that since Christmas Eve you—. These must have been three dreadful days
for you, Nora.
NORA.
I have fought a hard fight these three days.
HELMER.
And suffered agonies, and seen no way out but—. No, we won’t call any
of the horrors to mind. We will only shout with joy, and keep saying,
“It’s all over! It’s all over!” Listen to me, Nora. You don’t seem to
realise that it is all over. What is this?—such a cold, set face! My
poor little Nora, I quite understand; you don’t feel as if you could
believe that I have forgiven you. But it is true, Nora, I swear it; I
have forgiven you everything. I know that what you did, you did out of
love for me.
NORA.
That is true.
HELMER.
You have loved me as a wife ought to love her husband. Only you had not
sufficient knowledge to judge of the means you used. But do you suppose
you are any the less dear to me, because you don’t understand how to
act on your own responsibility? No, no; only lean on me; I will advise
you and direct you. I should not be a man if this womanly helplessness
did not just give you a double attractiveness in my eyes. You must not
think anymore about the hard things I said in my first moment of
consternation, when I thought everything was going to overwhelm me. I
have forgiven you, Nora; I swear to you I have forgiven you.
NORA.
Thank you for your forgiveness. _[She goes out through the door to the
right.]_
HELMER.
No, don’t go—. _[Looks in.]_ What are you doing in there?
NORA.
_[from within]_. Taking off my fancy dress.
HELMER.
_[standing at the open door]_. Yes, do. Try and calm yourself, and make
your mind easy again, my frightened little singing-bird. Be at rest,
and feel secure; I have broad wings to shelter you under. _[Walks up
and down by the door.]_ How warm and cosy our home is, Nora. Here is
shelter for you; here I will protect you like a hunted dove that I have
saved from a hawk’s claws; I will bring peace to your poor beating
heart. It will come, little by little, Nora, believe me. Tomorrow
morning you will look upon it all quite differently; soon everything
will be just as it was before. Very soon you won’t need me to assure
you that I have forgiven you; you will yourself feel the certainty that
I have done so. Can you suppose I should ever think of such a thing as
repudiating you, or even reproaching you? You have no idea what a true
man’s heart is like, Nora. There is something so indescribably sweet
and satisfying, to a man, in the knowledge that he has forgiven his
wife—forgiven her freely, and with all his heart. It seems as if that
had made her, as it were, doubly his own; he has given her a new life,
so to speak; and she has in a way become both wife and child to him. So
you shall be for me after this, my little scared, helpless darling.
Have no anxiety about anything, Nora; only be frank and open with me,
and I will serve as will and conscience both to you—. What is this? Not
gone to bed? Have you changed your things?
NORA.
_[in everyday dress]_. Yes, Torvald, I have changed my things now.
HELMER.
But what for?—so late as this.
NORA.
I shall not sleep tonight.
HELMER.
But, my dear Nora—
NORA.
_[looking at her watch]_. It is not so very late. Sit down here,
Torvald. You and I have much to say to one another. _[She sits down at
one side of the table.]_
HELMER.
Nora—what is this?—this cold, set face?
NORA.
Sit down. It will take some time; I have a lot to talk over with you.
HELMER.
_[sits down at the opposite side of the table]_. You alarm me,
Nora!—and I don’t understand you.
NORA.
No, that is just it. You don’t understand me, and I have never
understood you either—before tonight. No, you mustn’t interrupt me. You
must simply listen to what I say. Torvald, this is a settling of
accounts.
HELMER.
What do you mean by that?
NORA.
_[after a short silence]_. Isn’t there one thing that strikes you as
strange in our sitting here like this?
HELMER.
What is that?
NORA.
We have been married now eight years. Does it not occur to you that
this is the first time we two, you and I, husband and wife, have had a
serious conversation?
HELMER.
What do you mean by serious?
NORA.
In all these eight years—longer than that—from the very beginning of
our acquaintance, we have never exchanged a word on any serious
subject.
HELMER.
Was it likely that I would be continually and forever telling you about
worries that you could not help me to bear?
NORA.
I am not speaking about business matters. I say that we have never sat
down in earnest together to try and get at the bottom of anything.
HELMER.
But, dearest Nora, would it have been any good to you?
NORA.
That is just it; you have never understood me. I have been greatly
wronged, Torvald—first by papa and then by you.
HELMER.
What! By us two—by us two, who have loved you better than anyone else
in the world?
NORA.
_[shaking her head]_. You have never loved me. You have only thought it
pleasant to be in love with me.
HELMER.
Nora, what do I hear you saying?
NORA.
It is perfectly true, Torvald. When I was at home with papa, he told me
his opinion about everything, and so I had the same opinions; and if I
differed from him I concealed the fact, because he would not have liked
it. He called me his doll-child, and he played with me just as I used