The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman - 66

The cow did not calve——no—she’ll not calve till next week——the cow put it off terribly——till at the end of the sixth week Obadiah’s suspicions (like a good man’s) fell upon the Bull.

Now the parish being very large, my father’s Bull, to speak the truth of him, was no way equal to the department; he had, however, got himself, somehow or other, thrust into employment—and as he went through the business with a grave face, my father had a high opinion of him.

——Most of the townsmen, an’ please your worship, quoth Obadiah, believe that ’tis all the Bull’s fault——

——But may not a cow be barren? replied my father, turning to Doctor Slop.

It never happens: said Dr. Slop, but the man’s wife may have come before her time naturally enough——Prithee has the child hair upon his head?—added Dr. Slop——

——It is as hairy as I am; said Obadiah.——Obadiah had not been shaved for three weeks——Wheu - - u - - - - u - - - - - - - - cried my father; beginning the sentence with an exclamatory whistle——and so, brother Toby, this poor Bull of mine, who is as good a Bull as ever p—ss’d, and might have done for Europa herself in purer times——had he but two legs less, might have been driven into Doctors Commons and lost his character——which to a Town Bull, brother Toby, is the very same thing as his life——

L—d! said my mother, what is all this story about?——

A COCK and a BULL, said Yorick——And one of the best of its kind, I ever heard.

END OF THE FOURTH VOLUME